Ambivalent, I'm sorry, but my life, when it comes to where I live, where I work and relationships will remain private. Far too many people read not only this forum, but others, and are not required to log in. People tend to forget this and sometimes put TMI out there for people to read and connect the dots (if the readers are smart enough to do so).
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.