on the edge pt 2

[melissag]

Hi dingo . . . sorry things have been such a roller coaster lately. One thing you wrote struck me, though - that filing for divorce would be the last way you can stand up for your marriage. That doesn't make much sense to me. How is filing for D sticking up for marriage?

It sounds to me like your W has some issues to work through, and she knows that. She is asking you for the space to get the clarity she needs. Perhaps she will become clear that she doesn't want to be married to you, but maybe she will realize she *does* want to be married to you.

What do you want? Do you want to be divorced? Or are you using it as a way to protect yourself? Put your guard up? Teach her a lesson? Try to make her change her mind? If it's not for reason #1, then you might want to rethink that decision. If you want to be married to her, then you need to decide whether "standing up for yourself" by pursuing the D is really worth it, keeping in mind that you cannot control what she does, and filing for D isn't going to change that.

If I were you, I would sit with this for a bit, for YOU. Not for her. But for yourself. I doubt you are in a sane enough frame of mind right now to be making big decisions.

Just my $.02.