I would have preferred him grabbing my whole body, or jump me by surprise.
I know this wasn't the problem you were dealing with, but would you have thought it was too much and too often if he jumped you by surprise about once ever day? Maybe skipping a day here and there, but then two or three times in a day on Saturday, etc.?
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It wasn't erotic for me, it was...I don't know, predictable, annoying? Also, the bedroom was boring to me.
What if your husband wanted to try all kinds of different places, role play, etc.? And once a day?
Or are you a person who thinks you'd like this now, but after a few months or years you would want that only once a week or once a month? See, that was the "misunderstanding" in my marriage. My wife appeared all charged up and receptive to this at first, but apparently it was mostly the novelty and affirmation for her. I thought it meant that that's the way it was going to be. In fact, I thought it would get even better as we got to know each other sexually better. Of course, now I understand that I was naive to think that. But it still feels a bit like she did a bait and switch. Or as it's also been described, she did the "meet, mate and procreate" thing. But now that those functions have been fulfilled, she's done with sex.
I've more than once heard 2nd or 3rd hand about conversations between middle-age or older women, where one says to the other, "Thank god he's not interested in it anymore, because I'm done with sex!" or something along those lines.
