Look what the cat dragged in! (TL)

[kml]

Trazodone is an antidepressant, often used to help people sleep. It doesn't really have addiction potential. To the best of my knowledge it doesn't have any abuse potential. I suppose he might have taken it to sleep.

[Whiterose]

My dr prescribed trazadone when I had bd. To help me sleep.

Glad you're getting spend thanksgiving together! Hope you can work on the money issue....must be very frustrating for you.

[tigerlily78]

Trazodone is an antidepressant, often used to help people sleep. It doesn't really have addiction potential. To the best of my knowledge it doesn't have any abuse potential. I suppose he might have taken it to sleep.

I am glad to hear it doesn't have a lot of abuse potential. It still seems weird to me that he would have brought these pills from her place if he takes them there for sleeping. He doesn't sleep here anymore. :P

Here we have a big bottle of generic benedryl to use as sleep aids (same ingredient as many over the counter sleeping pills, just cheaper).

So maybe the best take away should be "maybe he isn't sleeping well at ow's" ...I think I kind of already knew that. I hope he gets tired of being tired soon. I know I sure am.

Son is having a friend over to play today. Hope they have fun and behave.

[Feenix]

I didn't realize how behind I am on your sitch!!! SO sorry that I'm behind...you've had some serious MLC craziness going on! LOL.

He is really confused by the swings in my attitude from day to day. I explained to him very matter of factly that my swings are actually directly related to and playing off his swings in behavior. When he is nice to me it is very easy for me to be nice to him, when he practically ignores me then I start to get the feeling I am being taken advantage of and that he only wants to be here for food and laundry and to make it an easier transition on HIM to leave here. He also gets all angry and says he feels like he can't trust me, that the packing up his clothes is evidence that I will "do crazy things to hurt him"

You wrote this a few days ago...but this is TOTALLY my H!

I need one of those STFU bracelets, too! I swear my H probably hears me saying "STFU, Angela...just STFU" under my breath all the time now. Hahaha.

Glad that your H is going to be with you for Thanksgiving! Yay!

[tigerlily78]

Ugh. Lots of anxiety at the moment. I did address the pills, "I noticed that bag with pills on your desk, it's not something I expected to see. Do I need to be worried?"

He says "that baggy had generic lactaid in it." I said, "I know one of the pills was not lactaid, I looked it up." He says, "Oh I forgot, there was a sleeping pill in there. I only tried it once and it didn't work for me. I will throw them away if you want me to. It's really nothing." And he did throw them away.

I said, "Oh, well I am glad it is nothing. I didn't even want to bring it up, but I do care about you. You know that."

He decided this afternoon to go skating in the middle of the day. I asked if there was a possibility his work would call here looking for him (they are in production season, every afternoon there is a new emergency). He said no, it should be fine. He'd be back a little later to do some work from home.

Well, 3:15 we get a call that I let go to voicemail and it is his team lead. They called a phone meeting this afternoon and he didn't call in at 3pm when it was supposed to start. Presumably they sent the email after he left to skate.

I called him and told him I received the voicemail about a meeting at work. He asks me for the call in info. I said the team lead didn't leave the info, just called to see where he was and that they needed his input on something.

I am so annoyed right now. It's bad enough with the throwing money all over the place, now he is taking stupid risks that could compromise his employment.

*is resisting the urge to hit him with a frying pan when he gets home*

[tigerlily78]

Well, I sent him a text last night to let him know I was not pleased with the skipping work situation. That I understand he feels like the OW is worth losing me, but his actions yesterday seem to indicate he also thinks she is worth losing his job and potentially the house over, and that to me is unacceptable. No reply. None expected.

This morning at 7am he shows up. This is two and half hours earlier than he usually comes home to get ready for work. It basically means he must have left OW's place 10 minutes or less after she did. It is windy and freezing rain, the power has been out at our house for an hour... and he decides this is the morning to drive home early? Maybe he was afraid her trailer would blow over.

He comes into the room and asks if he can climb into bed with me. I say he should only get in the bed if really he wants to and that I just want to be clear that I am not going to have sex with him. He asks if he can cuddle with me. Again I say, it is fine with me, but only if it's what he wants. He says he wants to, "but I can't tell." (Oh great, so basically I am the other woman now.)

There was spooning and squeezing and groping and copious amounts of pelvic movement involved on his end. I just laid there being my cuddly self. I reiterate that although I have really missed him, I am not interested in having sex. He offers to give me some oral pleasure (so tempting!), I turn him down. I say that's not something I would be comfortable with when he is in a relationship with someone else. I tell him he can rub my back for a minute if he wants to do something nice for me. He does.

Then he asks if I will do a favor for him. I ask what favor. He says he wants me to "touch him", he essentially wants a HandyJ. (Ok, so I don't accept sexual favors because we are "not in a relationship" and then he somehow thinks I am going to be willing to do him a favor? CRAZY.)

I say, "You are having super awesome sex with someone else, why in the world would you want to come here and get a HJ from me? That is just silly." He says he ISN'T having super awesome sex. (oh, boo hoo. Is this where I pull out the classic validation. "I'm sorry you feel that way." LMAO) I say, "Oh, well, that's your choice. I'm not interested in giving sexual favors to someone outside of a committed relationship."

We cuddled some more. I told him I do miss him, miss touching him. I had him roll over and I kissed him on his back a few times and rubbed his back and ran my fingers all over him. There may have been a few fleeting touches to areas that are off limits, but I have boundaries. No harm in walking up to the line and then turning away.

Then we napped a little before he had to get up to get ready for work. It was nice to have him in the bed.

Today he asked son about what he wants for Christmas. I love my son... he says, "I haven't even thought about Christmas at all yet with everything that has been going on. We haven't even made past Thanksgiving yet." (Asperger's children, sure don't mince words) I tell H we should think about getting son an electric razor, he is starting to get a total mustache. H is resistant to this idea, says it doesn't look that bad yet. I tell him we can think about it, that son had expressed some interest in shaving a few weeks ago.

H ends up coming home for lunch, ran some small shopping errands for me, and bought a new router to replace the broken one. He had to spend some extra time today getting it set up properly... it cut into his skating time. He also bought a computer game he plans on playing with him over the network.

He tells me before he left, "I am going skating tonight." I say, "I know you are skating tonight, you usually do, the real mystery is when you're coming home." He says, "I'm coming home tomorrow morning." I tell him, "Oh, well that's stupid. I hope you enjoy your mediocre sex." He gives a little snort and leaves the room.

I was doing so well, right up until that last comment. Guess we will see what time the cat drags him in tomorrow and whether it seemed to have a bad impact or not. :P

[tigerlily78]

Also... the sex is not good and she gets a 6 or a 7? She must fart rainbows and unicorns the rest of the time.

[Pudmuddle]

How awesome you got some cuddling and spooning, even if you couldn't complete anything. Good for you for holding strong!

I know, why the frig do they have to tell us they are leaving when we know. It feels like they are rubbing it in.

I've been told this often isn't all about the sex, it's the respect and admiration they get, gives them the high because they are made to feel worthy. Sigh. so sad.

I'll be there are sparkles in the sheets when she farts, lol. Too funny.

[tigerlily78]

Thanks for your moral support Pud. I did feel strong holding my boundaries. I don't need to settle for being someone's trick on the side and keeping it a secret.

Yes! I do feel like he is rubbing it in. Or maybe it is just something to say that is neutral. Not "goodbye" or "I'll see you later" ... just this cold statement of their status. Gee, thanks pal!

I kind of wish it really was about sex, because that's an area where I know I stack up well. But yeah I know, he says he "doesn't think I bring out the best in him" ...I am sure that may seem true, because I am just as smart and funny and good in bed as he is and I have my own opinions and ideas and I am not afraid to stand up for them. That seemed to be a good thing for 16 years until he lost his marbles.

I am sure hanging out with someone so far down the food chain in intelligence, maturity, and general life competence makes him feel fantastic about himself by comparison. I guess I need to keep working the WoA angle, to show that I find many things about him very admirable too, but screwing a tramp just ain't one of them. :P

[Pudmuddle]

I think the nicer mlc'ers are hard to figure out. They keep being courteous, but yet not. Like it is all ok what they are doing.

I really think it is all about the respect and admiration. They want to know they have our respect. Remember when we were first married how we treated them? a LOT nicer I'm sure.

It's hard to be gracious when we feel so hurt and they are not respecting our feelings. I still am not there. Working on it. I try to do this by starting small and seeing if it improves anything between H and I. Just a thought.