[labug]

Your weekend with the kids sounds so grat! I love those simple times of just hanging out. S24 and I drove to the Grand Canyon after Christmas last hear for a couple of nights, we got snowed in at Williams and spent an unscheduled night there but it was so fun. He and I hadn't spent that much time together, just the 2 of us, since his brother was born. Once we got to the Canyon, there was no TV or internet access (score!) played A LOT of solitaire. That will always be a special memory for me.

Maybe it's also not guilt about trying to fix her but rather that I haven't found the right way to say or show her that staying together deserves more effort that what we have given it so far?????

That's still trying to fix. I don't know if it's guilt you're feeling or frustration that there is no fixing this. I think there's a lesson to be learned from all the difficult things we encounter in life. You don't know what's beyond this, what's in store for you.

This has been a gift for me, and that was true even before we thought of reconciliation.

Don't understand all the ins/outs of depression but for the life of me I can't think of what she has to not be happy about. Great life ecomonically, relatively healthy, 3 healthy, well behaved children, etc......

Just let me say this, about that^^^ I would ask that you educate yourself about depression. I was depressed for a long time and it's not about being happy or unhappy or what you have or don't have. It runs much deeper. The stigma and judgment that surround it is what keeps people from seeking treatment and getting better.

So let go of the judgment and find out what it's really all about. When we are judging a person, even if we never say a word, they can usually feel it.

All the things you mention are contributing factors for sure but they are hers to figure out and deal with. That doesn't mean you shouldn't educate yourself but you can't fix her. This is one of those unconditional love, support from afar situations. I think you have some empathy for her... sometimes we just have to turn things over to the Higher Power.