Chasing, do you want to be treated in that way? Do you think that's the way loving people address each other? (If you've read many of my posts, I'm very open about the fact that I was "that" person in my M) That behavior is damaging for any M.

You can't fix him but you can protect yourself. Have you read much about boundaries? This is a perfect place to say, "H, when you talk to me in that tone and with that facial expression it hurts me (or whatever it is you feel). If you continue to talk to me in that way I will leave the room." No talking about it, no arguing, no blaming, no loud voices, you just state the simple fact.

If he continues, leave.

The next time he does it there are no reminders, you just leave.

There's a book called "How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It" It might be helpful for you right now.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss