In my previous post I left out that I contacted her to ask if we were still on because I hadn't heard from her. That's when she said she had been working with her boss all day and lost track of everything else and that she was sorry and asked if she could give me the raincheck.
Anyway, she responded to my last text about the restaurant suggestion with a simple "yes".
So now is it up to me to come up with a time? What can I do differently?
Geez, why not make a real request?
Like INVITE her AND the kids to the dang Nutcracker. Take your kids and a friend if your wife declines. Do not invest in your w's reaction. Do not put great weight on her response and keep it light. You never made it happen before but now you are.
If she declines and you go, that's GREAT and it's JUST FINE...talk about a 180. YOU doing something without her...!!! It's all good!
Oh, but you have to go and enjoy it, AND take your kids as if they matter a lot too. It's a classic Christmas event your kids may not realize but they WILL get something out of it. My kids never regret going to the theater or seeing live performances. Too powerful to ignore or blow off.
If need be, Make it a dinner thing too, so they go somewhere they love as well as seeing the Nutcracker.
Come on, you can get this. Stop staring at your feet dawdling & wondering like a boy in high school asking her to the prom...
make a choice and if it's wrong, then learn from it and don't repeat it and then DROP it.
But this NON decision making and all the reasons you find to "give her space" (which all equate to making little effort on your end) is not getting you anywhere...i can't say it's working...
but then you jam so much meaning into such little visible effort from you--the texts with odd endings that do not really say anything. All superficial. I don't think you have a problem being too light with her...on the contrary.
I don't think it's fair to you or her to keep things so UNsaid.
Be braver.
The worst that can happen is that she ends it finally, for some reason OR more of what is happening now, which is you dangle and make no progress...
I think by doing nothing and having nothing finalized, you are telling yourself there is still hope b/c there is no visible movement, although there is also no visible anything...
But merely having no movement does not mean there is hope. I think IF there is a chance for you two, she must imagine a different kind of marriage. In other words,
your wife has to see differences in Your behavior.
I don't see any. Do you?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
