WORKING TOWARD CONNECTING WORKING ON ME

[job]

Ambivalent,
My thoughts on why he should be invited to Thanksgiving dinner. You are one of the very lucky ones that your h is still doing some things for you. Your h has been very pleasant and wouldn't you rather have him there and sharing in the festivities and when the day is done, go home w/some very pleasant and fond memories to think about later? At least if he's there, you know that he won't be spending it alone or w/the OP.

You've be able to determine whether or not you want him around for Christmas or not after this holiday visit. Then again, he may opt to spend that one elsewhere...it all depends on how comfortable he is around the family on Thursday.

When I see that the MLCer is doing nice things for the spouse or family, I tend to say offer up an invitation and if he accepts, fine and if he doesn't, it's his loss. Thursday is still a few days away and he may very well change his mind...time will tell.

As for his window issue, he can go probably go to a local glass repair shop or an automotive shop and they'll replace the motor (if they are electric windows) for him. It could also be that the window has gotten off track and that should be an easy fix.

It's time for your to turn your focus back on to you and what you need to do to get ready for the big "T" Day. Hopefully the nasty weather will be out of here Wednesday afternoon.

BTW, if you feel that my postings are negative and you aren't happy w/them, please tell me and I will be more than happy to cease posting to you. I do not want to impose on anyone when it comes to their journey through Hades.

[Ambivalent]

Job,

I will speak up when I need to . You have not been negative. You offer your experience and insight. I value your time, and your opinions!

Believe me, I've spoken up before

You are right, he may chicken out, but you are right ...it would be his loss!

I'm taking it a moment at a time. I can't wait for my daughter to come tomorrow! Yaaaay! I love her so much! I am so glad I gave what I did to my girls.

For they have become very loving women. My youngest is the most compassionate and supportive.

I will always have them whether he wants back in or not.

[job]

They are calling for rain and mixing with snow later in the day into Wednesday morning. The commute around the DC area will be messy. Your daughter will need to plan her day and if she's traveling, to keep an eye on the weather.

Ambivalent, no matter what happens, you and your family have many, many happy memories and I would not allow what is happening right now to darken those happy memories. Treasure them and pull them out whenever you are feeling down. Okay?

[Ambivalent]

I love ya Job!

No worries about daughter's travels , she is in the area and will be fine! Thank you for your concern.

You are absolutely right, I had wonderful memories...He is a good man. He is a man.

This does not define who he is, nor what our marriage was like.

It is part of who his is, and a part of who I am.

We are two hurting flawed individuals who really don't want to hurt the other.

I will continue to be the best I can be, whether he figures himself out or not. He has much to learn. I learned more from my parent's divorce, and have the benefit of the knowledge he never gained.

I hope his counselor is good, and is goal oriented. He will have to deal with that though, and I can just pray.

Did you ever connect with another person after ten years of your divorce?

[reachingHigher]

Hi Ambiv!

I've been following your thread and noticed job posted much the same advice to me about a year ago.

I did have Thanksgiving with my H and boys and family and to me it showed a snapshot of what "we" could be like with changes. We had D papers already signed by me at the time.

But that was put aside, temporarily, and we had a great weekend. Not to say that I didn't become very angry with H (kept this to myself) immediately after the weekend as it freaked him out. But ya know, it helped put a positive deposit in his love bank.

I am so glad you have raised two wonderful and loving girls. They will always be a treasure to you.

[Ambivalent]

Thanks Reaching, that means a lot. Yeah, I'm sure "if" he comes, it will freak him out too. :}

But as for the Love Bank, you are exactly right. I will get to watch and listen, as my oldest monopolizes the conversation! I will practice DR'ing on her as well.

I am planning on having some good wine and just letting go. We will supposedly play some board game that my youngest will bring.

This will be a 180, and something that may add to the day. Never know with the oldest present! Complicated.

[Ambivalent]

Well the list I had for today got blown off. I just did what I needed to do, relax.

I did get to dancing and made a great salmon sandwich from my last night's leftovers. Who'd a thunk, that wasabi and soy lacquered salmon would be good as a cold sandwich? Served with sliced pears on the side...YUM!

Tomorrow's a new day

I'm thankful for:

My awesomely adorable fuzzy faced four legged friends

My scale reading down another pound

Being able to stay in my wonderful home

My daughter coming tomorrow

Having a dance class to go and learn, be touched and forgetting my life situation

Clean sheets and warm dogs in which to wrap myself

The dogs are great in the Autumn and Winter. The relationship is truly symbiotic . They cuddle close to absorb my heat, and I benefit from their heat radiating from their wee bodies.

[tigerlily78]

I am glad you took a day to just relax. Sometimes we need it and don't take it and that I think is a big mistake.

Back to the grind tomorrow.

[Whiterose]

Days off are good! And your salmon sandwich sounds amazing. Mmmmm, I love food.

[Ambivalent]

Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching. Today I must make up for yesterday.

I have to get to the grocery store and gym , dancing is not the same as weights.

House desperately needs a dusting and vacuuming too. I'm going to start some of the side dishes, so THE day will be more about fun , memories, and togetherness.

It is cold and gray in my part of the world, but due to events I can try and focus elsewhere .

List:

Shower

Breakfast

Dogs

Gym

Giant

Dust

Vacuum

Boil spuds

Gas station

School





One day at a time, one moment in time