Why? For a legitimate reason or just because you think it's the proper DB response? If you did it for DB'ing, keep in mind that in DB'ing while you shouldn't accept ALL invitations you should accept SOME of them.
I feel like me heading up there would have been feeding her addiction - her admitted dependency on me. And as much as I wanted to go, I want to love her as best I can and help her reach her also admitted long term goal of being "okay" without me.
I wanted to go. I want to make her feel better. I like swooping in and "saving the day". I like showing up and taking some of the load of off XW and spending some more time with my ladies. All that comes naturally to me and it's how I tend to show my love for others: actions.
I did not make that decision cavalierly.
I realize she may be reaching out to me and perhaps my rejection of that request will have negative results down the line. However, like a drug addict, I don't want to be a quick fix that makes her feel better in the moment, but doesn't fix her long term issue.
Does that make sense?
I emphatically welcome anyone and everyone to opine on this. I'd love to hear both male and female perspectives - my sitch is well documented. I am open to hearing ideas and opinions that I may be overlooking.
I know my sitch is seasoned, but tell me what you think! Give me perspectives to consider!
I am always learning and always striving to be open-minded. I stand firm in my convictions, but I want to make sure my convictions are honorable and based out of love.
AS, thanks for your post and holding me accountable.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
