new start for me

[kelela]

I'm not doing good once again just had an argument with the H, wanted to take the boys the weekend on Dec 6-8 and I him that the boys and I had made plans that weekend and he got mad because it was supposed to be his weekend to have them; well my problom with that is i never know when he wants The boys he always tells me last minute and then expects me to just give in to every time he wants them. He told me that I needed to talk to him about any plans before I make them with The boys. Anyway he wanted to know what we had planned for that weekend and I told him that we just made plans to do some things together. So now he tells me that I can have them on Dec 6 and he will take them on Saturday and Sunday. Then i did a really big step back and told him why do i have to give up everything just because he said so. Then he tells me that i have the boys more then he does and that he cant go three weekends without seeing them. Well last weekend it was his lost he had decided to go to the college football game with OW instead of spending time with his boys. The real reason I wanted them that weekend is because it would have been my 14th wedding anniversary on Dec 6 and I didn't want to be on my own that weekend this will be the most saddest day for me and I just wanted to be with the only two men that still loves me. And stupid me went and called MIL up and told her about what I did and she told new that I had handle that all wrong I should have just told him that we made plans and if he had continued to get mad then I should have just hunged up on him instead of giving in for saturday and sunday and again I give him want he wanted. And this is not The way for me to try to save my marriage by always giving in to his demands. I just don't know what else I can do. I try to be nice and try to stand up for myself but it doesn't matter what I do I still end up being in the wrong. Maybe this is a sign for me just to give up. Since I can't do anything right.I wish that I could afford to call the DB coaches to get their advice. I'm so lost one minute I think I'm doing good then bang I'm back to square one again. I never can get ahead.