It's only fear that makes you run

[AJM]

I can't emphasize that enough. As Job mentioned, you will be ok. I found that the first holiday season s*cked raw eggs. At the time, my ex was openly with OM and was sending me pictures (texting) from things they were doing with the kids (especially family tradition type things like getting a Christmas tree out west of here) (I'm surprised I didn't get any sex pictures, but that's just an idea of what frame of mind she was in). I resolved that since my family was disintegrated and gone, my ex was openly cheating with OM and talking marriage, my kids were away for the holidays for the first time in 20 years... that I was NOT going to have another holiday like that. Ever.

I spent a lot of years creating traditions for my family. I would just do it again. And as easy as that, new traditions began in earnest.

Believe me when I tell you, making those new traditions is important. Or at least it was to me. I very much look forward to the holidays now (again) and have for years. I have tried many things along the way - I kept some and let others go to try something else until they became my and my kids traditions.

It takes a long time to get the right mix of new, and in some cases, old traditions blended just right. I had a four year horizon for my planning. By the 3rd year I had forgot about my planning timelines. LOL.

Give it a whirl. I think you'll find that it's really a lot of fun and "freeing" at the same time.

AJ