My Wife Having Affair/I just filed for D

[Accuray]

I just wouldn't tell her anything and give her space. Just take your eye off that ball completely.

Start focusing on protecting yourself emotionally. Watching her live this way is hurting you. How can you protect yourself? How can you avoid watching? Those are the questions to ask.

Usually, when our spouse leaves we feel very invalidated and "less than", and we desperately seek our spouse's validation to build us back up.

When you were single you survived just fine without that validation. Rediscover what that takes.

Meet new people, try new things, put yourself out there. The best way to feel "in control" again is to build some new relationships, engage in some new hobbies and activities.

If you can do things where you will see progress, like workout out or learning an instrument, it can help produce feelings of being in control which boost confidence.

You need to design a way forward for yourself that does not involve W, what W is doing, saying, or thinking, and if you can insulate yourself from those things, you will feel better. Snooping on her will pound you down.

I do think it's good to know what's going on, but once you know, you start torturing yourself with it if you keep looking. You need to open the door, take a look, then close the door again, lock it, and throw away the key.

For now, one day at a time.

Acc