Now I realize he would have done this whether I was in his life or not.
I was hoping you would get there ^^^ .
Thing is, you forgiving yourself has nothing to do with what he does, or doesn't do, imo.
I don't think we are taught how to forgive, though we are told it's something we "should" do, and it is a good and rightful thing and all...
But we aren't taught HOW to forgive, much less HOW to be forgiven, how to ALLOW ourselves to be forgiven by others...and certainly not how to forgive ourselves.
He may never be big enough to forgive you. My W may never be big enough to forgive me. Is it healthy, and good, for us then to go the rest of life carrying their weight, their responsibility? Because them forgiving us is their responsibility, their choice.
But like we forgive them first for our sake, THEN theirs, I think the same applies to ourselves...we must forgive ourselves first, and then worry about their forgiving us, because whether they can/will, or not, is not in our control.
We are human and make poor choices from time to time. Lord knows I did.
So where does the healing start? Who starts it? How does it get started?
Just my 2.5 cents, people here helped me learn what to carry, and what not to...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
