We're Dating

[labug]

And k_g, as you know, it took me a while to get to where I am and it takes awareness every minute of every day.

H and I had a talk yesterday afternoon. He came up and fixed something, he's always fixing something. It amazes me because there was a point when he said, quite emphatically, that he didn't want to do "another effin' thing to that house!"

He wants to come home. I don't think we're quite there yet. He's OK with that.

We talked about what we each needed in the R. Mine of course was: I want you to plan something for us to do, nothing says love to me more than you thinking about what I would enjoy and planning it. I said my fear is that we will fall back into the same old pattern.
His response: I'm not really good at that.
I said: What does you're "not really good" at that mean?
H: You sound like a psychiatrist. (in the past, about right here is when I would have gone off the rails)
M: I just want to know what part of it is difficult.

So, it turns out that he doesn't like to go to the movies. (I love it) The people in movie theaters (talking, cell phones, etc) irritate him. OK. We can work around that. Then we go into listing things that we could do. We decided to continue to think and talk about it.

There is some block there for him.

He did share that he knows we're better at talking about things, and that he's comfortable bringing up difficult subjects because I am in control of my emotions and he is, too. He said these exact words "People can change."

Later I sent him and email, just to say "I want this to work out. I don't want either of us to be as unhappy as we were 3 years ago."

He responded:
We are two different people. We just have to balance, "middle ground".

I have had the best times of my life with you,... I want more.

My fear is that I will fall short.

I never want to disappoint anyone especially the people I love, but oft times do.

His "stuff' is surfacing.

Progress is being made.

Slow and steady.