Had a terrific day with S yesterday! We drove up to the mountains and went hiking. It was COLD!! We didn't let that interfere, though. We bundled up, and enjoyed some of the most breathtaking scenery imaginable. S got some great photos - including some close-ups of the icicles on the rocks at Triple Falls. Best of all, he was talking and smiling and laughing the majority of the day! I came home thoroughly exhausted - 10 hours of driving and 3 hours of hiking made for a very pooped pw! - but it was totally worth it.
H called and sent texts throughout the day. I thought that was unusual...until I got home. See, I had asked him if he would come over and see to the dogs while S and I were gone. He said he'd love to, no problem. I asked him during one of the phone calls how the dogs were, etc. He told me they were fine, he'd had to clean up an accident, but no big deal. When I got home, I knew immediately that he hadn't been there. I had placed a small piece of paper on top of the key I'd left under the mat for him - it was still there. Also, no dirty towel from cleaning up dog pee. So, all the contact yesterday was from guilt. Guilt from not doing what he promised, and guilt from lying about it. Dude, just be honest with me! I'm not going to take your head off!
melissag, that is excellent advice. And yes, I was venting, but it will still be a valuable tool in dealing with those bad days.
labug,
Quote:
So what do you want to do?
I would really just like to have an honest, rational discussion with him about his thoughts on the M. What does he feel led to him having A? We never had that discussion. He avoided it, like he has been avoiding everything these past few months. All I got was "I'm confused and I don't know what I want." I suppose that is all he can give right now. And an honest discussion is probably out of the question - see story above. H has issues with telling the truth.
So, what I do right now is just keep on keeping on. Live my life for me and S. Do everything in my power to build a secure and happy life for us.
Funny note, H said something about Dishrag yesterday that was rather ridiculing. I think he was testing me, seeing if I would jump on it and say something bad about her. I didn't take the bait.
