I cannot tell you how nice it was to find your posts here.
Life is moving quickly as it always seems to do this time of the year. This year even more so. Kitty is spoiled and she is OK with that and dad's appointments continue. Couple more things to try. I am hoping they will work.
Not much time left over for other things but for now I have been putting my nose to the grindstone and getting things done.
Skippy - I have decided to name xSO since WR has Buttercup, Rosa has RT and Job has Rip, I am going with Skippy - called tonight. I thought I was ready but maybe not quite.
We chatted for about 45 minutes. I made sure to participate in the convo but generally he had to lead.
I learned that he actually moved twice in the last eight months. Once into the bottom half of a house at the beginning of July and the latest move in October. His land line has been out of commission since then. I had no idea about the move. Overlaying that experience, I had actually texted in mid-June and got a short shrift answer. No clue that he was preparing to move.
He said something garbled while telling me this that "his relationship did not work out". I asked no questions but his second move appeared to be tied to the break up. The same time he started contacting me again. I did not ask for any details about said break up. Or was it clear if they moved in together.
All I truly heard was that he moved last July and could not be bothered to tell me and now that GF is gone, he decides to contact me.
So NLT you are right. He is still searching. And job, as always you are right, he just keeps looking back to see if I am there. Skippy never gave any hint that he understood what he was saying could hurt me. Or did hurt me.
He said he was still in therapy. Good. He needs it although I don't have a great deal of faith in this therapist/counsellor. After all he has been seeing her all year.
I was not expecting to feel my heart squeeze again nor expected how he was once again able to hurt me. That while I knew in my heart he was over me, to learn it for a fact is hard. Wow, July.
Job, I don't know if choice is the right word. I will need to see true remorse if he is to come back in my life. Even with therapy I doubt he is capable. When I finally said it was time for me to go, he invited me to call anytime. I only responded that I am not often home. Which is the absolute truth. But the other truth is I am still very angry at him and worse, still so hurt by his maltreatment of me. He said it was good to hear my voice. I did not answer any of those comments. He said all of those things and more as he cheated on me. Meaningless words.
I am no one's consolation prize.
Nero, you are an amazingly insightful woman. No expectations except bad ones. Going from full trust to absolutely none at all. Skippy said he was driving home from his mother's when he called. Again how clueless!! That used to be code for coming from or going to GF's house. How trusting I was. Here is is talking to me outside her house and I just believed him.
I will not call or text him again. And maybe he got his fix so he will leave me alone. I don't know what to think but my heart is a bit bruised right now. Glad I don't have to make any decisions right now.
I will feel better tomorrow. Thanks for "listening".
