but she said that I am still not understanding her,
Based on what you wrote, I totally agree with her. LISTEN and VALIDATE. That is ALL you should be doing. Instead you made almost the whole conversation about you, your counseling, your thoughts on religion, etc. etc. SHE DOESN'T CARE. When she asks you something about yourself, then make your response EXTREMELY brief and ask her something about herself. Make the conversation about HER not you.
Quote:
I responded by saying that in our M before I began to look inward, I had been blind to how I do this, but that now at least I see when my fear causes me to respond in certain ways - and that I quickly apologize instead of denying it or leading us into a fight and making her feel crazy. This is a major 180 for me, and I think she saw this.
I think what she saw was you talking about yourself. I imagine she thought "yup, he still doesn't get it." REMEMBER, words mean nothing to the WAS. You can only convince them you've changed through ACTIONS. Consistent actions over a long period of time.
