Why do they do this? Do some of them actually believe that they can go out and play, while in the back of their minds they plan to come back? Kind of like taking a time out?
Why do they feel they have to make the spouse feel like they aren't coming back?
Why not immediately file? I've noticed a pattern with some WAS'. The ones who are really done, file within a month or so. What is up with these guys, is it really let me find something better? If not I can always go back?
I think in most cases they don't know what they want. What they are really DOING is running away from their unresolved issues, right? They run and run and try all these new distractions and make all these crazy changes in HOPES that the changes will make the problems disappear, but it is almost like in the back of their heads they already know that you aren't as much a part of their problems as they have offloaded on to you... and of course as we DB, we are working to make it even more obvious that we aren't the source of the problems and so they do feel drawn back to us, to the comfort and familiarity... they really don't seem to be able to wrap their heads around the impact of their deception and affairs on other people. Everything is about them and what they want and need, sometimes they want us and sometimes they don't and sometimes they just don't even know.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."