Hi Lou, I was just reading labug's thread over on Piecing and saw a couple of things that really spoke to me, and I think might help you too.

About being controlling (and impatient) smile :

Quote:
"Sometimes when we leave things alone, they advance without us. Stand back and let what's supposed to happen, happen."

“Humility means accepting reality with no attempt to outsmart it.” David Richo


About getting out of your own way . . .

Quote:
I'm a controller, a defense mechanism that I carried into adulthood. If I could just control things tightly enough that nothing ever went wrong, everything would be OK. i think we all have those, "If I just make x money, everything will be OK", "If I just have this house..." "When the kids get to pre-school, middle school, college..." "If I get that promotion..." "If my H comes back..."

We all know that's not true. Everything will never be OK. That's life.

I've learned that in letting go of the control and the drive to get where I think everything will be OK, things are better than OK. Sometimes life leads you where you need to be, not where you think you want to be but you have to let go in order to see that and enjoy it.

Does life still have ups and downs, certainly but I accept those as a part of life not a permanent state of being.

There are so many slogans that play on this:

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.~John Lennon

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.~Joseph Campbell

We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right.~Marianne Williamson

I equate ego with trying to figure everything out instead of going with the flow. That closes your heart and your mind to the person or situation that's right in front of you, and you miss so much.~Pema Chodron


me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14