i know what you mean- what the heck DO we feel for them now, after allllll this. after they hve felt free to dump on us for sooooo long with complete disregard for our humanity, feelings, humanness??? i'm not so sure myself .
i'd say i don't want to not care at all about him- and i don't want to LOOOOOVE him anymore. too much dishonesty and how the heck do you feel that kidn of love, when thre's no belief in them, their words, their intrinsic "goodness" (for want of a better way to put it.
idk- i'm just still sticking with "i'm okay rite now and nothing bad is happing" - staying in the moment- not rehashing past if i possibly can do it- and nary a plan or thought for what the gfuture holds.
i really don't have any expectations - except bad things.
isn't that the tragedy? h used to be a person who made me feel happy- now if he's nice i think he's got something rotten in th offing- and that is THE ONLEY reason he's ever nice (guilt).
and he hasn't been ratty lately- that makes me suspicious too.
oh man- from trusting as a rock to none at all-
hope i even out. interested to hear your comments-
