And the beat goes on..!

[littleGTO]

Thanks, jp, sucker,bug, mimi & ruby, for checking in with me!

Life has definitely been a roller coaster ride lately!!

jp, you are right that everything that is happening all at once has sent me into spins, twists, and turns and loop-d-loops!!

On the great news front...I continue to date my pianoman exclusively-- 4 weeks yesterday. He is sweet and attentive and loving and there are definitely fireworks going off in all directions too! He told me he loves me and can see a future with us together! (I know waaaaaaaaaay too soon, but to be honest all my past long-term relationships kind of started the same way--- fell fast and hard.)

I realize I am in a very vulnerable place right now and because of the amount of time that has gone by without reciprocated affection I am very accepting of new love and attention without a lot of outside judgement of anything. Having said that pianoman is a great guy and has yet to reveal anything that is throwing up a bunch of red flags.

Really I am just trying to enjoy our new relationship with an open mind and an open heart and suck up all this great positive, adoring attention!

ON the not-so-great side of my life...my soon-to-be-x and I are filing papers tomorrow together. We are trying to do mediation but our second session last week was extremely tense and we area in conflict about the kids/visitation. In the session words were spewed that were both hurtful and a twist of the truth. We both are untrusting of each other's intentions.

In the midst of all this last week I went into my doctor's office for a health issue I was having and she ended up having a test done that revealed another problem...anyway, it will hopefully eventually be something that will resolve but for now is adding to the stress and worry of life.

And, even though I had to tell soon-to-be-x that I was having some health issues I was actually afraid to tell him too much thinking that somehow he might use it against me in the fight for the kids.."she's got health concerns that are going to require more doctor visits, possibly surgery," etc, etc, etc & that he might try to show more time with would be better for them because of that. Shows how untrusting I've become of his intentions and what he might do to get what he wants.