It's ok CC- it's normal to have ups and downs as you go through this. With time you will see that the downs don't last as long And don't go as low.
Is there something you can do today that you will enjoy? Something with the kids or alone or with a friend?
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Pamper yourself a bit. If you are tired and not feeling well, the best thing to do is rest. I'm sure that if the kids aren't feeling well, they are not going to want to do anything either. Do you have some shows or movies that they can watch?
The ups and downs of the coaster do take their toll and you will learn to ride that coaster very well in time.
Take care of yourself. You'll be up and about very soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I can already see that the lows don't last as long and aren't as low either. For that I am grateful! In time I can see that I'll be able to step off the roller coaster and just watch the ride. Some days I can't help but jump on.....wish I didn't need to.
Movies and pizza are the way forward today. Lots of hugs and a few 'I never want you to have a boyfriend' chats.
It was horrible to see my anger return today. But it was short lived....I'll take that as a great sign.
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
Pizza and movies sound like a great way to go! I love that time with my kids. Pajamas are usually on most of the day too :-) I hope you and your kids are feeling better CC. Am glad the lows arnt as low and as long anymore :-)
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Hey CC, just got caught up with your thread after I was offline for awhile due to technical issues.
You seem to be kicking butt in the detachment department!
When your not feeling well it is easy to get down in the dumps and let the negative feelings pile up, I hope you get some good rest with the kids and you all recover quickly.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Hey tiger I'm getting there. Just when I'm about to pat myself on the back for detaching so well, I get sucked in. But I'm proud of myself for how far I've come in such a short time.
When this started I prayed that by Christmas this would all be over, but I can't see me being ready to even have 'the chat' with him by Christmas. It would take more than a few short months for me to be able to contemplate taking him back.
Even seeing how much I hated being angry today made me see how far I'd come. Before I would justify my anger. I'd always have a great reason for being a 'screamy mummy'. Now there is no reason for it. I'm calmer, more reasonable and I'm not resentful.
H didn't contact the kids from Thursday till tonight. I started to panic so did a quick check to see If he was ok. He was at a very expensive spa with his friend. Rather than feel resentful, I felt better that I was the kind of person that worries about people, then got on with having fun with the kids. His loss and its of no concern to me if he doesn't want to contact his kids. They didn't ask for him anyway!
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
CC, Pat yourself on the back. You have come a long way in a very short time period. You are starting to be more aware of the times that you are getting sucked in. Detaching isn't easy and it takes lots of time and practice and even then, you can still get sucked in. So, don't beat yourself up...you are doing great.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I had an epiphany today while having 1-2-1 with D4. I realised I just wanted to start again. I didn't want H anymore. He's not a nice person. I wanted to give myself a break and work on me and then move on and yes, I did want to find love again.
Then it hit me between the eyes. That's what this is all about anyway. I don't care what he does anymore. I just don't want to know. I am going to start again. I am going to fall in love again. But the odd thing is that it could be with H.....but it doesn't have to be!
This will most likely come and go, but remember if you've been here once, you can get here again.
Each day is a new day and a new life.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
