Wife says she wants to leave

[SM34]

Yes, yes he does!! An truths that no one well tell you, and an understanding of crisis causes and solutions like you've never seen before. A true asset to this community. Heed his words.

I want to expand on some of the advice here as far as the idea that nothing you do will change her mind right now. I'd like to make an important distinction....

Nothing you do while she is in an affair will make her stop. But there are plenty of things you can do to make her continue it!

At the point in your sitch the husband LBS is looking for advice as to 'how to act' and what to say etc...

Rather than give you examples of what to aay and what to do, we need ro establish the effect those actions will have. No sense in having a list of things to say, because you cannot refer to this list during every interaction.

So here it is in summary. Your words and actions shoule show confidence and self worth. Now is the time to gain respect, something that you are lacking from your wife. Weve all been there, and its a bad place.

You gain respect by being loving and understandng of her emotions, yet balancing that wih your own boundaries and needs. No woman wants a pathetic man that when she says jump he says how high.

You take care of your kids and put them in the number one spot. Nothing is more attactive to a woman than a good daddy. Defend and shield them from her negative place with the bravery of a lion.

Also I want to tell you about something my db coach said to me because I think its fitting for all LBS hisbands dealing with an affair. Be kind and thoughtful to her, BUT DONT BE HER FRIEND.

It sounds horrible but it is critical. Women don't feel sexual attactrion to men who are in the friend zone. And you are after sexual attraction.

Your wife is in a very bad funk right now, and that is usually the case with affairing people. Let OM e her friend and her crying shoulder. Let him meet as many needs of hers as possible and nine times out of ten he will fail.

Some people like to show their wife an awsome husband for some time before movinf away so that she has the memories of how good you can be. That can contrast with how OM is. But don't get carried away in jumping through hoops for her and don't forget to have self respect.

We are here for you. Keep us updated, and keep up the positiveness!!