Re: Alanon. I am afraid of a lot of things. First I think H would be mad if he knew I went (although I really don't see how things could be worse than they are now. ) I also think that it will be the nail in the coffin of our M. I went to his mom a few years ago to talk to her about his drinking and he had never forgiven me.

Labug. I did go back and start to read some of your old posts. There was one where you quoted another poster saying it takes 1 month of consistent DB for every year of M to see any change. Today my goal is to be consistent for 1 day.

In the mess last night he said that he did want to work on things a month ago but then I bought Marriage Fitness book and that changed his mind because it was me controlling things again. (This was before I discovered DB and DR)

Labug- did your H get help with drinking during your time apart? I know (in theory if not yet in my heart) that nothing will change while that is still an issue. It just hurts to let go. Last night he said he only drinks because of me. Again I know it is not true but very hurtful.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15