NLT, I think your h was very comfortable being there last evening. I do think he may have been a bit nervous by him drinking a bit more than he normally would. I agree w/Bea when she stated that the subconscious doesn't always obey. Yes, in a way, he was marking his territory as well. LOL!
Now, about the photos. My xh wanted all of his childhood photos and military photos 3 years after he left. They want these photos so that they can sit and look at them and allow the memories to return. The childhood photos hold the key to him figuring out about his life. Some of them may have been happy memories...but many of them do want to relive those times and the only way to do that is w/photos and recordings. As for giving a 2x4 on giving them to him...nope...this is a whole different situation. He is traveling down memory lane and it's not because he wants to be selfish and keep them all to himself. This is part of the process.
My xh didn't deal w/his issues the first time he left and he returned for 7 months and then left again. Some will return for longer periods of time and then run again. They have to deal w/their issues or the reconciliation will fail and each time they leave, they become a bit more angry and destructive. Just my two cents on this subject.
I do think you are handling your situation wonderfully. You've shown him that your home is a safe haven and the candle is in the window to guide him home. However, if he says he wants to come home, he'll need to do the necessary work to win you back, i.e., your trust and loyalty. You've grown by leaps and bounds and he's going to have a whole lot of catching up to do.
NLT, you are the prize. Please do not ever forget that.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
