Update---H was kind of an A** last night. It comes with stopping off after work for some drinks!
S and I were out running around till about 7:30, stopped at McD's on the way home. H showed up shortly after. When he found out that S was eating McD's he had a fit. Asked me why I didn't cook him something instead. I pointed at that H took him there, but H said only once in awhile. H started throwing stuff into the sink, including a glass which broke and S was witness. Threw some other stuff, I asked him what was wrong and he mentioned McD's..wtf..I said no it's not McD's! I'm leaving until you go to bed! At that point H went into the bathroom, I went into the living room and was sitting with our S. H came out of the bathroom and mentioned that the drain in the sink was slow draining and it was becuase of my hair and did I ever clean it. I said yes when I clean the bathroom in a very calm voice. H made a stupid face mimicking me at which point I turned away. I did not let my H push my buttons which H was desparately trying to do and I am very proud of myself. Because I was getting pissed at H!! But, separated me from him, at it was H not me! It was H's problem. I had also picked up our taxes and H asked why I did that as he was going to do that. H never told me that he was going to pick them up and pay for them, which he claimed he did. I told him I was over there and picked them up. H just has this way of poking and poking until he gets blood.
H did calm down for the rest of the night. H ended up in our bed with S, kept telling S he could sleep with me!! H was being an all around A** off and on. Once H was finally in bed with S I puttered around for a bit and H kept insisting I come to bed. Eventuall S went to his own bed and H stayed in our bed and we .
H made the comment "how long have I been downstairs and you haven't come down ther?" I responded that I did last week and H pushed me away" and then said to H "you know where I am too" to which he responded "and you see where I am tonight." The thing is I knew he would put this back on me even though it was his decision to move into the other bedroom. This is how H operates..puts the blame on me. What do you do in situations like this? When it's very obvious H wants to be in another bedrom, yet comes back and says I should come to him. I think it should be the otherway around.
I know that H has issues, his drinking, his treatment of me after these episodes. But, last night I noticed H was trying to be civil, he wasn't perfect nor may never be, but H was trying. In the past I got sucked into his drama and it was just ugly all around. Detaching from him is a definitely an eye opener! I do hope that I don't detach too much, because in the past I wouldn't bring up the night before--maybe just wanted to avoid the situation all together. But there are a few issues that I would like to discuss with H. His McDonald's issue with son and the cleanliness of our house. I've noticing he likes the kitchen clean and the bathroom. It could also be a control thing and no matter how clean it is H will still find fault...with something!
H has been coming home the last week, H has been doing acts of service for me. For the most part H has been very civil, thoughtful and nice. I know this is hard for him as he used to drama and for me not to respond in the old ways is probably throwing H off.
At one point last night I was questioning my staying with H, with S being a witness to the throwing in the kitchen and how many times does he need to see this. S did know his dad was at the bar, we had to drive by there on the way back from taxes and H was upset that I told S and S told H he knew where he was. I won't do that anymore, I just don't like that word coming out of my S's mouth either.
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