We don't really get to see the WAS return as the LBS spouse much, we all know it happens. But I think it has a few different perimeters with just the standard LBS posts.
First, let me say, thank you for coming forward, its going to help a lot of people actually. Gives the "other side" or the grass isn't always greener perspective.
I think the giving him even more space after being "absolutely certain" you were done, is a super fine line. I think if my wife came back, I would need her to show more me that she's done some work, he doesn't trust anything about what your saying now. I'd be just waiting to get hurt again, or for that other sure to drop again. Why would I want to go back to someone that was so sure before, only to have them change their mind again? I would need to see some of the effort that you didn't want to put in before. I'd want to be chased a bit I guess. Silence, been there done that when you walked out the first time, why go back to that? Why let my guard down if its not going to feel any different. If you think he's just gonna change his mind after the hurt he's been through, the silence you put him thru, the detachment you showed before, the way you walked away (2700 miles away). I'm not sure you understand the pain he had to go thru to get where he is today, a wall 500 ft. tall. Happy or not, he's not letting anyone in right now, he's just in survival mode.
Silence doesn't exactly help chip away at that wall, its just building it higher. Now im not saying put on the full chase here, he doesn't trust you. But a text every few days, once a week is a good start. An offer to take him out to dinner, or a movie. The things he probably begged you for before. Sure, your probably going to get a "no" most the time, but slowly chip away. Show your interested, complete silence comes off as more disinterested to me I guess.
