Yes Bea and Job, I know I'll never see them again but other than the ones of the kids, I really don't need them. If they help him come out of the tunnel then I'd gladly give me every last picture that he needs.
NLT you are dealing with all this so very well. I did give my xh all the family photos, many years ago, and in an odd way I do not regret it, even though I never see them. I have my memories, and I also have my kids around me on a regular basis. I think you did the right thing here.
As to the laundry, their subconscious doesn't always obey. Probably a bit of both - marking territory and slipping into old ways.
Your husband hasn't really fully left, emotionally, and you are doing all the right things to bring him home. Whether you want him back will be up to you, I suspect.
One thing I would say though is that unless he has dealt with his issues to some extent, he could always run again. That is a sober truth. These people are damaged goods, and walking timebombs. I have come to see that, and it is worth pondering what drew us to them initially . . . Now we love and cherish them as the father of our children, and we share a lifetime of memories and shared love, but we also put up with some pretty strange behaviours, telling ourselves, I think, that everyone is odd. I have come to see that while there is truth in that, the 'oddness' of a potential MLCer is probably more than it was reasonable at times for us to tolerate, and that we haven't always done ourselves a favour in turning a blind eye and making excuses. I failed to hold my xh accountable at times when I really needed to, and I wonder if this is true of you also?
