I'm glad to see all the small positives. It really does boost one's mood, perhaps more than it should. (I'm definitely victim to that as well.)
As for men sometimes seeming insensitive (and I'm guilty of this), I don't feel like it is intentional. We are just less in touch with our emotions. Emotions are uncomfortable. We can also be terrible about knowing how we are perceived. I know I would appreciate it if someone would just tell me that they wanted or needed more from me. The danger is that sometimes when women communicate this, they do it in a way that makes us feel defensive. As a result we don't provide the sensitivity they ask for. It is not out of spite, but shame for having failed in our responsibilities.
As for the questions you ask from time to time about your R, I think this is a normal part of the process. You need to find the answers for yourself so you know what you want to do and why. It seems to me that not having answers builds resentment and is an obstacle to forgiveness. Whether or not our R's work out, having discovered our own answers makes us stronger.
