Hello,

Just an update on weekend.

Saturday was fun. The bar that hosted the casino night wasn’t too far from H’s parents. H parked the truck, was concerned he was too close to a snow bank, didn’t want me to have to step in when I got out of the truck. Went inside H wanted to hang our coats up, I was concerned about my leather coat and said he would hide it under his. Casino night was great, there were slot machines you could play which I am drawn to. I played there most of the night H played Blackjack. We met up later in the evening and filled out our raffle tickets and picked out the things we wanted to win and won NOTHING. Sat at the bar and had a quick drink. Headed back to H’s parents. We talked a bit in the kitchen and H was talking about his health and at one point I said “I care about you” and H said “why do you care, I don’t know if I’m going to be with you anyways!” which I just let go through me. It was the only “mean” thing H said to me all night, otherwise he was very thoughtful and nice. We slept in the same bed and .

Got up in the morning, got ready to go to the funeral. H’s family was all there. His brother and SIL who I haven’t seen since this all started and who have also spent time with H and OW were there, too. I just briefly chatted with them as I don’t know how I feel about them and their acceptance of OW in H’s life when they knew H was married to me.

For the first time, I really listened to the priest, and the words had a whole new meaning to me. It’s like I “get it” now. I get the meaning behind the words for the first time in my life. Is that strange? I’m reading the “The Power of Now” and am learning so much from that book. I am planning on reading the bible soon, also. I have the tapes in my car and SS20 saw one of them and said “The Power of Now” and I didn’t say anything. SS thought it was music so put it in the player and said “it’s somebody talking” like he’d never heard of such a thing and popped it back out. I said it’s an inspirational tape…lol.

H also commented on the sermon and thought the priest, who was no more than 25, did a very nice job. We had lunch afterward and headed home.

When we got home H went into his “cave” didn’t communicate unless spoke to for pretty much the rest of the evening. H was very loving around S before S went to bed. We all went to bed early. I said good night to H and he said good night back and went to his room.

All in all it was a very good weekend, the best weekend I’ve had with H in a long, long time.

H did make a comment last night that he was "moving out" I said "ohh when" H said tomorrow, was going to today but was tired. I just said okay. H didn't say it in a mean way, just said it...but it wasn't coming from the heart, maybe the air is coming out of my H's balloon. I don't know.

It was like H actually liked me all weekend, that H cared about me...as best he could.

Cathy