Good response about the funeral. I think that it is important that you are letting your husband know that you are going to be there for him because you want to be and not because you have to be. That is very important to him whether he tells you that or not.
Sounds like he wants you to go and be with him as well. Especially since he is willing to find the babysitter. That also means a great deal to him whether he tells you at this time or not. Keep doing the things that you are doing because you are making positive steps.
They need to know that they are appreciated and needed and that is what you are showing him. You are showing him this without mothering him or pursuing him which is very good. Keep up the great job.
Stay on your journey with the Lord because he has many things that he wants to teach you and show you. You are open and that is why things are happening the way that they are happening. I understand what you mean about the presences when you pray because it happens with me too. Things are different then what they were before because I am now different and so are you.
Your situation helped you to open up to the Lord because you had no other place to go and see how great he is. All he wants any of us to do is open up and he will help in every way that he can because he is our Father and what Father doesn't want to bless their children!
Great evening last night, went to my sis's, had dinner, watched the hockey game on TV. Came home with S, finished watching the hockey game and we BEAT the #1 team in the nation last night!! Wooohoooooo.
Went to bed, woke up about 4:30 and no H! H isn't home, I panicked a little, but managed to fall back asleep. Dreamt that I went to OW's with H and S for a party. OW was just coming out of her bathroom naked, I didn't have my glasses on so couldn't make out what she actually looked like. I did notice she had a nice butt--mine isn't so nice anymore, strange I know but it was a dream remember. OW said don't tell H you saw me like this and went somewhere. OW's house was on a lake, H was there drinking a lot, at one point I couldn't find him. Was with son and I remembering telling myself that I hoped this was a dream and that I'd wake up soon. It was such a vivid dream! I woke up about 7:30 as S was up.
Told myself there was nothing I could do, it was H's journey. Couldn't believe that he would go to OW's again, especially after all the time I took to get tickets for him for the hockey game. But, I was detached. I told myself I'm going to walk on my treadmill, get ready to do my errands, wasn't sure H would even show up...all kinds of ASSumptions in my head in the morning. But I did say detached, I didn't get on the roller coaster
After I walked I got in the shower, when I was getting out I heard son talking and S said dad was home. H came into the bedroom, I asked him about the hockey game we talked about how exciting it was. H was in a very good mood, seemed to want to share his evening with me. A freind of there's who doesn't drink carted them around and H stayed over at his co-workers house since it's right next to the bar!!
Whew! I am so proud of myself for not calling OW's house, for not calling H, for not doing anything but continue on my course and pray for my H.
I am leaving shortly to meet my H at his parents. SS is coming along to watch S4. H and I are going out to dinner and then to casino night TOGETHER!!!! We are staying over at his parents and attending his cousin's funeral together!!.
I think we have a date, the first in almost a year!!
No expectations, one day at a time, and keep dbing and being ME!!
Great job! It is so easy to fall back into the "hole." AS I was reading I too was thinking that I would think the exact same things as you. Whew!! It's like you just passed the driving test. Isn't it great to not TELL H that you jumped to conclusions??? Have a great time tonight!!
Cathy...you sound great...you have had some wise friends here....I don't know if I had told you about my praying for h..I had prayed for a long time to bring him back to me..then somewhere I read that I need to pray that God will make him happy..help him find his life with me or without..and my prayer has been answered..and it is with me that God has turned his heart. Prayer is powerful...I ahve to be so careful around family and friends...as they think ha nd I have become some religious freaks...and how sad for society that people are so afraid of God and the power he has.
How was casino night and your non-date? I have found that these events that throw you together really end up being important. Even a funeral...My H joined the kids and I for a neighbor's wake today - and I didn't even ask him to.
Hey, having your H at home, even in the basement can be okay and it lets your S see him often. I wish mine would move home, but he is here alot so kids see him almost daily now.
I am glad that he stayed at co-workers and that you let it go but yet showed concern/relief when told where he was. It is hard to show concern without them thinking that you are spying, keeping tabs on them, whatever...
Prayers are good all around aren't they? I'll keep you in mine.
Can't wait to hear how weekend went.
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Hope your weekend was a good one. Hope you got many opportunities to show H what a FAB person you truely are!!!
I have been following your posts with Vinlad (she is wonderful!) regarding prayer. This was sent to me by a local speaker who talks about feeling good even when you feel bad. Amazing stuff....
Life is filled with challenges and opportunities--and sometimes it's hard to tell which is which! When you're in the middle of a challenge or an opportunity and you feel bad, there's one thing you can count on, and that is that you can feel good even when you feel bad. Here's how:
Secret #6 How to Kill a Monster Part 8--Put Your Hands Together
A 1999 randomized, controlled scientific trial done at the Mid-America Heart Institute in Kansas City studied 990 people admitted to a coronary care unit to see if intercessory prayer would have an effect on their recovery. Intercessory prayer is when a stranger prays for someone without their knowledge.
Half of the patients were prayed for every day for 28 days by volunteers who believed in God and the healing power of prayer but did not know the person for whom they were praying. The other half of the patients received no intercessory prayer.
At the end of the 28 days, researchers found that the group that was prayed for scored 11% higher than the group that wasn't prayed for on a scale that measured negative health events like pneumonia, infection, and death. In other words, those who were prayed for had less pneumonia and infection, and recovered better than those who were not prayed for.
Prayer is thought, and thought is energy. Physicists say that everything is made up of energy and that energy cannot be destroyed. But it *can* be transformed. Prayer can help you do that.
If you don't like the energy in your life, change it. No matter how helpless you may feel in the face of what's happening to you, one thing you can always do is pray. If you're uncomfortable with the word "prayer," then call it affirming or meditating or visualizing or just good vibes.
Even if praying doesn't change your circumstances, it will change your outlook and that in itself will change your circumstances. And, by the way, ask other people to pray for you, too!
Try putting your hands together. You'll find that you'll feel good when you feel bad.
