He would go for my breasts like I was a radio, or grab my rear, etc.
I would have preferred him grabbing my whole body, or jump me by surprise.
Now this is my fault too. I was afraid to tell him this. I was afraid I would insult him or hurt his feelings . It's hard because I know men like to be grabbed or touched directly.
Yes, this is huge. Communication is the key. Without it, it would only work if you happened to guess each other's preferences perfectly. The communication could be just physical, like placing someone's hands somewhere, etc. But the point is, I now understand that good lovers try to learn everything about each other. If you just go by "all men like this and not that" or "women like this but not that", you're likely to be wrong in your partner's case.
For example, your statement that men like to be touched or grabbed directly... not always true. Sometimes men like a slow buildup. Not to mention sharing fantasies, which can be very unique and different.
I'd say that reluctance to share these kinds of intimate and playful thoughts and feelings is a major cause of a poor sexual relationship in a long-term marriage.
The misunderstanding can be sadly comical if you think about it. Here's a man doing things to a woman that he thinks he's supposed to do. And here's a woman who's having things done to her that she doesn't like, but feels that she should like because the man is supposed to know what to do. So nobody is really having any fun at all. And it never changes. No wonder it gets boring after the novelty wears off.
