Great evening last night, went to my sis's, had dinner, watched the hockey game on TV. Came home with S, finished watching the hockey game and we BEAT the #1 team in the nation last night!! Wooohoooooo.
Went to bed, woke up about 4:30 and no H! H isn't home, I panicked a little, but managed to fall back asleep. Dreamt that I went to OW's with H and S for a party. OW was just coming out of her bathroom naked, I didn't have my glasses on so couldn't make out what she actually looked like. I did notice she had a nice butt--mine isn't so nice anymore, strange I know but it was a dream remember. OW said don't tell H you saw me like this and went somewhere. OW's house was on a lake, H was there drinking a lot, at one point I couldn't find him. Was with son and I remembering telling myself that I hoped this was a dream and that I'd wake up soon. It was such a vivid dream! I woke up about 7:30 as S was up.
Told myself there was nothing I could do, it was H's journey. Couldn't believe that he would go to OW's again, especially after all the time I took to get tickets for him for the hockey game. But, I was detached. I told myself I'm going to walk on my treadmill, get ready to do my errands, wasn't sure H would even show up...all kinds of ASSumptions in my head in the morning. But I did say detached, I didn't get on the roller coaster
After I walked I got in the shower, when I was getting out I heard son talking and S said dad was home. H came into the bedroom, I asked him about the hockey game we talked about how exciting it was. H was in a very good mood, seemed to want to share his evening with me. A freind of there's who doesn't drink carted them around and H stayed over at his co-workers house since it's right next to the bar!!
Whew! I am so proud of myself for not calling OW's house, for not calling H, for not doing anything but continue on my course and pray for my H.
I am leaving shortly to meet my H at his parents. SS is coming along to watch S4. H and I are going out to dinner and then to casino night TOGETHER!!!! We are staying over at his parents and attending his cousin's funeral together!!.
I think we have a date, the first in almost a year!!
No expectations, one day at a time, and keep dbing and being ME!!
