Then I mentioned that men have it tough, because depression is really not spoken of. Then he said men get a raw deal, because if we look at testicular cancer, the rate of incidence is just as high as breast cancer but there is no big thing about it.
I got that too!! Exact same words - central scripting again. And I have had breast cancer twice (two different types of tumour, not a recurrence), but had to have a mastectomy and reconstruction the second time. So the remark was not particularly sensitive This all happened while the divorce was going on. And what they have is always worse than what we have. It is competitiveness gone crazy.
Incidentally I am the poster child for thu is procedure
These people are acting like total jerks, and I do not believe it is healthy for us to be around them when they behave like this.
My xh also makes these stupid jokes, which no-one thinks funny, and are actually passive aggressive, and designed to hurt.
He wasn't like this: he was a nice guy, and to this day I do not know whether he is really Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde. However if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck I know where I would put my money.
Trying to feel compassion but not always succeeding here!
You had me giggling there with the amount of space you let H take up in your mind. I wish I could say that I've been able to do the same thing.
Your H made some pretty insensitive comments there about cancer, especially since your mom is dealing with cancer right now. My mom also had lung cancer. Actually, everything he said sounded pretty rude! Are you supposed to feel so sorry for him for his big depression since its Soooo much different from what your ppd was? How can he even know how you felt at that time?
I would try to brush it all off right now as just crazy MLC drivel.
Wishing you a very nice trip this weekend!
Me: 31 H: 32 Married 10 years, together 11 No kids H moved out to an apt 8-3-13
Experience: That most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God, do you learn. ~C.S. Lewis
This I know.. I really do, but for some reason he had to argue everything yesterday. If I said " nice day" I am sure it would have been refuted. Funny, the texts in morning were fine, but the one on one were not.
Since I have been dealing with some crap in my own head, concerning life in general but him as well, I wonder if I am projecting a bit of pre BD behaviour and this was the response? I don't know, just guessing at this point and I can only control my own actions. Which, aside from really REALLY wanting to use the whack a spouse hammer, I did okay with
Hi Ruby I am sorry that you are feeling down... And H acting like a weirdo .. It seems to pop put whn we least expect it. I wonder how much of their mood is reflected in their behaviours to us?
Hope you are having a better day
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Sorry Ruby...that seemed like a pretty crappy exchange. This isn't a competition....who cares who's is worse, or why....boo fricken hoo. I think the thing that strikes me here is that while you recognized you wanted validation, you fed him exactly what he was giving you rather than validate him (remember, validating doesn't mean agree).
And the comment about getting laid....wth is that. Is he 20? Sheesh, I'd buy him a beer not to say that to a lady. Dope. Ignoring as a good choice I think.
So, he is thinking about multiple spouses… He cannot even be good for one right now.
That stupid comment about being laid is so insensitive. What was he trying to accomplish by this? Other than just to look like an a$$. Do you think he is freaking out about this weekend?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Bestie. If there ever was an argument for replay as a retreat back to adolescence, I'm guessing your exchange with your H would prove it.
So, like, 16, 17, 18??? Sounds like adolescent boy crappola. Not even a nice adolescent boy... jerk adolescent boy.
Retreat! Me thinks it's the time to back away from crazy, insensitive guy. Go be a adolescent jerk with your buddies who are making the bets. Have at it.
Sorry that happened. NOthing like having your depression dismissed and discounted and, THEN, have your H treat infidelity like it's nothing but a bet.
Sorry bestie. I'll hire someone to beat him up if you need me to.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
