UD and Minnie - I will have to find the book it sounds like something I need. I am reading the Power of Now and that to is a great book!

I was raised Catholic and as a Catholic praying is very much a part of that religion. Except my idea of praying was getting on my knees at night and saying "god bless mom, dad, and so on" saying the WORDS. It is praying, but they were just words and nothing else. In the last few months praying has taken on a whole new meaning. Now when I pray, I don't get on my knees--which is okay I think. Now I close my eyes and there is this presence that I feel, I can't describe it but it is very real.

Water - H and his drinking...well I don't like it and to be honest I'm more worried more about the other people out there driving around than I am worried about my H. If H hits a tree, goes into the ditch, gets a DUI then it's his problem. But it's those innocent victims that I worry about more...more than if my H should crash and do himself harm.

Vinlad - thank you. My H's journey is his own, his decisions are his own. I'm learning, I am on my own journey, and it will be good no matter where I end up.

And, as far as tonight, I will not pursue H other than to say good bye, have a nice time.

I did talk to H today and he wanted to know if I was going tomorrow night. I said probably not I can't find anyone to watch S. It's H's hometown/family and I really don't feel comfortable asking anymore. BUT, H offered to find someone to watch our S so that I could go with him tomorrow night... . So we'll see, if I can't go that would be okay, too.

H's cousin died last week so we have funeral to go to on Sunday. H was going to go on his own. I told H that I would like to go, H wanted to know why since I didn't know his cousin. I said it's your family and sometimes you do things for that reason.

Cathy