I didn’t realize how long it had been since I updated.

Starting in July, we’ve had a busy schedule, which is only slowing down now, just in time for the holidays. I’ve barely had time to catch my breath.

S19 is doing well in college, all A’s. He recently got a job tutoring on campus.

The rest of us have been busy since the summer with marching band and concert band. These two activities have really helped S14 blossom.

Guess who is learning how to play the flute?

I joined the band myself. It’s not easy learning how to play an instrument at my advanced age, but it sure is fun smile I so look forward to my practice time, but it does cut into my knitting time.


As far as my situation: I looked over my notes over the last year, and what struck me was that the main change in my situation was my reaction to it. Certain things still hurt my feelings, but I bounce back more quickly.

I spent a lot of time over the summer clarifying what I believe about love, marriage, how I want to be and act.

I don’t see a whole lot of change in H. Our main topic of (brief) conversation is still the weather. He still clearly doesn’t want anything to do with me, although he is unfailingly polite. He tells me sometimes when he is going to be late. He asks my opinions of things occasionally.

The few positives I see are still related to youngest son. H came home early a few days before Halloween to carve a pumpkin with him. He wasn’t in the greatest mood, and made some nasty comments to him, but S11 was undaunted. He adores his father.

H also took him to the mall, pet store, and grocery store recently, spending quite a few hours together. S11 had such a good time. He told me he liked spending time with his dad.

There is still not much interaction with our other sons. H went on a business trip recently, and S19 didn’t even realize he was gone.

This is because, when he is home, he is up in the bedroom. He will come down to eat, or do laundry, or make coffee, and then he walks right back upstairs. I have no idea what he does up there. Our master bedroom closet is stuffed with snack food, granola bars, crackers, cookies.

I used to think that he was just avoiding me, but S19 said that even when I am not home, H still lives in the bedroom.

We still don’t see or hear his phone, except on rare occasions.

I’m still giving him space, not asking any questions. Doing my best to live day by day.

Wishing everyone well. Thankful for this place and the wonderful people here. I don't know how I would have survived last year without the support and understanding.