Look what the cat dragged in! (TL)

[tigerlily78]

I kind of lost my marbles this afternoon. I went off on him and I did an impression of his OW which was admittedly over the top and I made sure to refer to her as a twinkle twat... which he laughed at, and I got kind of pissed because it was supposed to be funny to ME, not to him.

He tells me "equals walk away" I tell him "cowards walk away, equals stay and work their [censored] out even when it isn't pretty."

He told me I should leave his den so he could watch Youtube videos. Continued the "argument" a little later via messages. Wish I had kept the discussion, it was popcorn worthy.

I went to the garage and got boxes out and packed up most of his clothes we wears on a regular basis and loaded them into the car. I left him a note to let him know most of his stuff was packed, he could pack up the rest this weekend. I was making it easy for him. He didn't have to decide anything or lift a finger. I made the decision and did the work for him. Just go.

I got dressed in layers and left on my own two legs not intending to come back until I figured he'd be gone. And as I suspected when I got home he had already left to skate. He had unpacked all the boxes out of the car and left them in the living room.

I texted him that I had been thinking a lot today and The Universe had given me a pretty strong signal today that he never really loved me anyways. I don't know what I am supposed to be waiting for, for him to finally START loving me? That doesn't seem too likely to happen while he is busy loving and sleeping with someone else.

Followed by: "There is a reason you almost never said you loved me. There is a reason you never wanted to marry me. And the most simple explanation is because you didn't love me. You basically even said this a few weeks ago, and I should have just listened. It would be pretty silly for me to think that the [censored] that is going on right now is going to magically change all that.

He texts me back: "You don't know what you are talking about. Send me msgs to the computer please."

I text back: "Don't worry. I am done now. Why the EFF would I send messages to the computer? You aren't going to give a [censored] either way. The only thing you really love is skating. But I am sure OW will probably be happy enough if you manage to love her even half as much as you love skating. Lucky girl."

So umm yeah, that happened. And you know, I don't feel that bad about it. I am not a doormat. I don't need to see his stupid happy face every day while I am miserable.