"I do not like to spank my kids especially it is out of my own frustration of inability to control them. Therefore, I rarely spank them and it is extremely rare."
The fact that you are hitting them because you're frustrated at YOUR OWN inability, shows that you shouldn't be hitting them at all. That's your fault. Not theirs.
"XW parents have some weird logic that we should not discipline nor reprimand the kids."
You're not them so you really can't speak for them. There might be a reason why they believe the way that they do and it's their right to do so.
"One will have to look at how their own kids turn out to know they have got it wrong."
The same can be said about you. I mean you were the one who initially ignored your W's issues with you. So in a way, you were able to do whatever you wanted and not listening. Same as what your W is doing to you now.
"My mom used make us do chores. We learned responsibility from it. That is discipline."
But you acted the way your W is now.
"Can you see my frustrations dealing with them including XW?"
Just do what you can do from your side. If possible, go to C with your W and your kids to see how to help them.
"The problem is we are divorced and I don't spend enough time with them. It's not 50-50 time either. I'll have to make do with the little time I have."
Start demanding more time.
"I don't expect others to understand this. You lived in a land where the law favours both parties. It is extremely unfair here. I don't think you can even comprehend how helpless I feel. Losing my family and all."
It doesn't matter where you live or what the laws are. It's what you and your W decide in terms of the visitation terms.
"I have been lied to since day one. Naively believed I have a chance with XW all this while. Our pictures are up. My cup is still there. Etc. Everything is just for show."
You are still making it all about the OM. Even if the OM wasn't there, your W would still be unhappy.
"Last couple of weeks, I have been avoiding XW. I have nothing I want to talk to her about. I just can't bring myself to pretend being happy around her. I feel very empty."
What have you been doing to make yourself fulfilled? Instead of just sitting around, what parts of your life have you gotten better?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
