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I just copied this off uRw's thread, written by Job, thanks Job:
"Their pain runs very deep and even though we "assume" that they are happy, they are not. Their minds are scrambled 24/7 and their focus is shot. Their memories are like swiss cheese and their entire lives are made up of constantly wearing masks. Masks of happiness, mask of sadness, etc. It gets tiring. Living in a fantasy world isn't what I would call happiness because one day, the world will right itself and as they come closer to reality, they will soon learn what is to be held accountable and they have to face the consequences of their actions. Those consequences could be anything from losing their homes, spouses, children, self respect, wealth, health, etc. They are very broken individuals that unfortunately we didn't break, so we can't fix them. Some will survive and become mature adults and others will continue to live in la la land until they die. They are the ones that are very lonely and bitter individuals who didn't have what it takes to do the hard work to come home. Euphoria is a powerful feeling...but it only lasts so long.

We, the LBS, were hit right between the eyes and suffered the pain and hurt early on. We will work through all of it and will become stronger, wiser and more enlightened in many ways. By the time many of them wake up, we have endured and moved forward w/our lives. The ones that wake up, will discover they have a lot of work to do if they want to try to come home. That's when they will have to face the pain that we endured at the beginning. That's why it is so important to work through your pain and not get stuck along the way. We don't want to see anyone fall into the deep, dark pit of despair w/the MLCers. The LBS holds the key to their futures, as well as being the ones that will make the final decision as to whether the MLCER will return home or not."


Linda

Me 65, Ex 64
M 38 y
2 adult S, 4 G-Kids
MLC 11/07
BD 12/09
D 3/14
Dating nice guy 7/14
Engaged to nice guy 12/17
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Linda,

Since your H is one of those kitty kitten MLCers, I think it is safe to throw H some of those well-placed "truth darts" and stand up for yourself more often. I'd hate to be called a "child"!

And for the record, I've eaten cottage cheese with assorted fruits for almost all of my life. My latest obsession is topped with pineapple chunks. I guess it is as American as it gets!! laugh

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Rosa, your H makes me laugh and cry at the same time. So, throw some bits into a beef soup and it will make it borscht… Take it Russians, LOL. It looks to me like he is trying to live in his fantasy world more and more. And sine RT is so far away, he comes out with the stuff to make it feel like he is still “emerging” in the culture. I would say let him do it, agree that this soup is borscht, whatever… I’m sure he will come up with some other stuff to call it Russian. As long as it is not cooked, or maid, or bought by RT, it should make no difference for you, right? If it does irritate you, maybe Wonka is right, and you need to put your foot down.

On another note, it is interesting what you wrote about your friend from England. I guess what she was trying to do with her life didn’t quite work out and she is considering returning back to her marriage. I hope it will work for them.

I’ve just had a thought… I wonder if your H will declare any of the Thanksgiving meal as Russian. I’m very curious, LOL. Hang in there Rosa.


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
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I think you should serve black Russians with borscht, blinis and caviar for Thanksgiving. Let's just attack this head on. Start serving nothing but Russian food daily. That's all he gets Russian food, more Russian food, and when he is full, more Russian food. He likes Russian, give him Russian until he barfs.

:-)


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Originally Posted By: LoisB
He likes Russian, give him Russian until he barfs.

:-)



^^^Like! Kinda like when you catch your teen smoking, and you make 'em inhale a whole pack.

Don't stop at the food. Play Russian music, decorate a bit with Russian items, etc. Make your home the home he's longing for.

Have the slippers and shakers remained out of sight?


M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
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Ooooo, you can get some Russian nesting dolls.

Serve lots of potatoes and of course Wodka! Da?

Oh oh oh, and get a beaver hat and wear it around with nothing else on, HA!


Formerly Workinprogress
H :55
M :over 29 yrs.
Together : 33
D : college
D : adult
BD and left : May 2013
Separated
Experimenting/Replay

Jan 2014...Let go of rope!


God grant me the serenity...
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Thanks Wonka! Yes cottage chrese is yummy with pineapple chunks. Pears and grapes are nice too! And now you know - it was invented by Russians! 

Can you please give me an example of a "truth dart?"  How are things going with you my friend? Will you consider starting a new thread?

Thanks for making me giggle, Bright, Heather, and FY, with your idea of ODing H on Russian culture and food. Unfortunately, I suspect he'd be happy as a clam. And Ambivalent - ME walk around wearing only one of those beaver hats? 

Do you mean naked or nekked? JFun just explained the difference on Pudmuddle's thread smile

It's a beautiful sunny Saturday morning here, but the big chill continues, inside at least. I spoke to a good friend last night who gave me a lot to think about, regarding setting some boundaries. I really have none besides the confinement of skype phone sex to H's bedroom. I'm going to at least try to set my mind to some serious detaching today. 


Linda

Me 65, Ex 64
M 38 y
2 adult S, 4 G-Kids
MLC 11/07
BD 12/09
D 3/14
Dating nice guy 7/14
Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 465
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Go buy Dr Zhivago and play it constantly.


M - 42
W- 37
S's - 9,6
M-12
T-14
FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011
ILYBNILWY - march '12
FIL - died jan '13
W Moved out week later
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Hey Rosa, I've been telling you it's time for something a little different. You are getting there. smile

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Oops, hit the buttom too soon. Part of dbing is to try something and monitor the results.

If it works, keep doing it, if it doesnt, stop.

I have thought you are stuck. And I good friend of mine once said, standing doesnt mean standing still. smile

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