What you are saying is making the most sense to me today. Maybe it's just me. I've never held a grudge nor do I want to issue THE FINAL ultimatum. We have a child together and I want H there for that child.
If H can navigate the tunnel, his journey it will be for the better. So I do need to lovingly detach, be his friend.
I have to do what feels best for ME! I want my H to respect me and I think ever so slowly he is.
Cathy
P.S. Do you really think he wants to work on the marriage? When he told me why he came back, to give me a chance to see if he still had feelings for me and then tell me that he doesn't after four weeks? I said "when you moved out and during that time you didn't have feelings for me so they're not going to just come back in four weeks. I thought you came back to work on our marriage." H didn't respond.
I did ask H what his idea of a good marriage was and he was stumped, just gave me this deer in the headlights look. He then asked me the same question and I was kind of stumped, also, didnt' know what to say.
