I know that people mean well here, but, I would never tell you to go to an Att. Please DO NOT!
I do agree that your H is testing you. I would also say he DOES want to work on your M, but you are right he is going through all the stages right now. It is very important to listen, validate and be his friend.
This is NOT the time to "show him" that you are controlling him by "showing him" you can ring the bell. Give him space and let him go through this, don't cave in to the emotional rollercoaster by "losing it" right now.
Lets work on showing him that you are one strong lady, he will respect you for it later. You will be ok no matter what happens. And right now with him drinking and doing whatever he is doing (no ASSuming) that he is the one who has to wake up with what he does. Hold your head up and know that you are doing the right thing.
Who said you have to throw in the towel when H behavior crosses the line, heck no!
It takes many steps to get to where you need to be. And I'm proud of you, putting up with your H mess! Someday he will know what a wonderful wife he has! It's coming, don't worry.
