I don't want to kick him out. I cannot go through H leaving again, I truly mean that..won't go through it. I mean how many times can H come and go! H is an alcoholic and when he drinks he goes to OW.
I don't want my H to leave, yes I told him if he went to OW's then don't come back. I don't know what happened last night. I don't want to assume anything right now. I know I saw H's truck at his hang out and it was gone later.
Today is not a good day for me to decide anything. I'm tired, feel a little spacey and just don't think I can make a good decision or demand anything.
If it's true what they say about revisiting all the stages, about whether they give in to temptation, then maybe H is doing this right now. Revisiting or has gone back into the tunnel. H is realizing that OW is not the answer to his problems, that even though H wants to be with OW--he feels rotten about it.
When we were talking on Saturday H contradicted himself so many times. Would talk about life with OW and then life with me. Like he couldn't decide what he was doing. I can't make H make a decision just because I want to him to make THAT decision--me!
I think my new outlook, view of the sitch, is that he is living in our house, apart from me and just take it day to day for now.
