She's gonna make it.....

[RosaLinda]

thanks for visiting guys! Thanks for raising a glass of wine to the prospect of RT finding another man, Bright. Let's raise a glass to Wonka's Astro Turf ( Wonka you always crack me up!)

Although if and when RT dumps H, there's no guarantee he'll turn his heart back in my direction, is there? That is something I just realized, that really sunk into my brain, although Cadet has mentioned it on numerous occasions. I think it was your statistic Bea, that only 10% of MLC marriages reconcile. You did not upset me, you were just telling the truth. But what a stark realization. It won't keep me from Standing, but I have been feeling pretty positive about my chances for reconciliation, up to now. Stupid huh? But as you say, he is not one of the crazier MLCers. Well he is pretty nutty, but not one of the crazier nastier WAS types.

Thanks Wonka, for your opinion that maybe the 10% applies mainly to the Jekyll/Hyde MCLers instead of the kitty kitten MCLers, like my H, and your H too Heather. I guess time will tell. I wish there was some way for MWD to send out a survey to all of the kazillion people who have used her forum over the years, to get a feel for how many do eventually reconcile. Wouldn't that be interesting?

I feel as if something is building up in my H for the next spew. He has been acting cold and crabby and distracted since Saturday, and has only said a handful of words to me. Funnily enough, the couple of times he has talked to me was to inform me that two meals we have been eating forever are actually Russian recipes that RT's mother taught him, sigh..... One is cottage cheese mixed with fruit cocktail, and the other vegetable beef soup. He made this for dinner last night, and added a diced beet, and as Nero would say, ta da!!!!! it magically became borscht! How he makes me laugh, when he is not making me cry

I can feel anger radiating out of him today. Like a radiator about to blow. He's stomping around and slamming doors. He stuck some kind of yellow cutting tool in my face and demanded to know what had happened to his tool. I never saw the darned thing before! And is furious, claiming someone has been stealing our fire wood. Over the past 8 months, this kind of irrational anger has historically meant that RT was pushing him for some action, and he would eventually get fed up with her nastiness, and take it out on me. It's happened every few weeks since he returned from Moscow.

Oh well, time to take off my jaunty DBing cap and strap on T2's extra strong DB hardhat. You know, the one that comes with goggles and uRw's pattented super duper extra large patience shovel.

This is interesting and sad Bea, "Now, a wise person told me a long time ago that a MLC relationship exists largely in the MLCers head - more than most relationships it is a projection. RT is a symbol and you are a symbol. To this day my xh does not treat me as if I were a flesh and blood human being. I can't explain it any other way, but I am not real to him. My feelings have no validity and what I say is always incorrect. I do not think he actually aware that I am a symbol to hm of all that is wrong in his life, and post divorce, when the reality is I have no impact on his life, I remain in this role."

It is so sad that FooFoo does not see or treat you like a flesh and blood human being, let alone like the lovely and wonderful woman you truly are. My H acts like this sometimes (this past week is one of the times ) too, but most of the time he either ignores me altogether or talks to me as if I was a person, albeit a slightly brain damaged person. He often refers to me as a "child." I don't want to be a child, I want to be his wife, but he does not always see me. Invisible woman. So I am continuing to STFU.

I am, however, glad to learn that the OP are only symbols, and their relationships with our spouses are mainly in the spouses' heads. This probably does not make the PAs any easier to accept, but helps me with my own H, as his and RT's affair has been relegated to a mere EA since they are 5,000 miles apart, poor things!

So...that's all that is up with me. Still muddling thru la la land, waiting for the cuckoo to remember where he left his nest in the clock LOL!

Oh, and remember my friend I went to visit in England? I had told you that when I arrived, she was in a full blown MLC. She had moved out to live with her dad, and was trying to seduce two different men to have PAs with her. She told me that she has been considering returning home to her H, poor man, but if she did, he would have to snap to and follow her rules. She says they had a nice reunion with Chinese food "take away" and ML But the real reason she went home is because she missed her dog!! Didn't someone say (was it you rH?) that MLCers bond with their pets and kids first, and then their spouse? He was such a nice, befuddled man. I hope she doesn't break his poor heart again!