I don't know if this would work in your situation, but I don't text my H very much at all. Instead I put reminders on post-it notes on the wall of his office and he can deal with this stuff in his own time. This also puts it on me to post things early and not procrastinate too.
I put the schedule of my and son's events on a post-it on the wall for the coming week and notes like "I put the trash bill on your desk to pay, Due Dec 1."
I know it is hard to "let go" on something like paying the lunch bill. Would your kids get a peanut butter sandwich lunch if they had no money on the account? Maybe in this case it would have been worth letting the consequences play out.
I think there is something of a feeling of "immediate demand" or even "interrupting" when you send a request by text. But if you communicate in something static like a note that is just waiting for them to read and follow through on when they are ready, it seems like less pressure.
Good idea, Tiger, on the notes. For awhile, he was MIA...hardly ever showing up at home so notes didn't work...but here lately, he comes home everyday to sleep so notes would work again.
I also keep a family calendar in our kitchen and make sure to put all family events on there so he can just look there to see what's coming up instead of having to contact me. That helps some.
I guess I should let him "fall on his face" more....like with the lunch bill. Yes, our school would have fed the kids sandwiches...and that would have been okay. I just don't want our kids to have to pay for him being selfish.
He got paid today...and he needs to pay for their bill. I pay for everything else, literally! Usually, he is ok with it...but guess he had a bad night at work OR has another woman and is having issues with her....don't know...but it was nice to realize that his bad attitude today had NOTHING to do with me. So, I let it go.
