Moving My Picnic Blanket Over Here

[bustingout]

Wow heather .... Thank to for that. You gave me a new perspective on some things. Especially the not being emotionally healthy/affair bit.

I understand the logic of not speculating and mind reading. It has served me well and I mange to stop myself forthe most part. It still creeps in at times and I think if I don't speculate i wont be prepared for what may happen next.

Also- the bringing over his stuff thing. I guess it makes more sense in my head that he is actually probably just emptying out his apartment here - after our talk yesterday he made t pretty clear that he doesn't think we should live here anymore.

When I feel vulnerable, or unsure of what is happening arond me or do not trust someone I am very wary of their actions and intentions. H makes me feel all of those things- especially the lack of trust. I know it can be rebuilt ... I don't feel his recent movement is for trust building. I think it's for his own selfish reasons.

He wants me to 'get on board' with the idea of moving. That upset me (didn't show it) because I want him to 'get on board' with stuff too! I don't want to move to another country..basically following him... Again... And still be seperated. Why am going to move my life and my kids lives not a strange country with no support, friends, family and no H ? And I would feel I would have to so that the kids are not far away from H.

I want to tell him that when we talk about the possible move again.

Heather thank you again... X