Another day, Another Opportunity

[NoMoreMistakes]

I knew being happy without was possible, but happier without was never a consideration. That's why I want to make sure I figure out why and not only look at the last year and think that it has always been that way.

[NoMoreMistakes]

W asked again if I wanted to watch the dogs while she is out of town for turkey day. I already have plans to be out of town as well so said I am not able to.

She then pretty much accused me of not wanting to help her and making up plans to avoid here. Said it was fishy that someone who never goes out is now all of a sudden got plans the two times she needs someone to watch the dogs. I just told her that I only said I couldn't twice and both times I had other plans.

Now she says we should go ahead and finalize because she is checked out and I am moving on. She always thought I would just move on without her and now it looks like that is what I'm doing.

[NoMoreMistakes]

I asked her what I was was supposed to do while she leaves the marriage and dates another man. That I was trying to move on and prepare myself in the event that she decides that we should finalize because I don't know when if she will ever come around.

I know there was too much R talk, talk about what I'm doing now and I probably shouldn't have told her I was trying to move on but that's the truth. What was I reasonably supposed to be doing while she dates another man.

I probably could have phrased it that I'm deciding what I want and working on becoming a better me, but that was just making her upset and annoyed. She said she doesn't like talking to an emotionless person.

[NoMoreMistakes]

I asked her what I was was supposed to do while she leaves the marriage and dates another man. That I was trying to move on and prepare myself in the event that she decides that we should finalize because I don't know when if she will ever come around.

I know there was too much R talk, talk about what I'm doing now and I probably shouldn't have told her I was trying to move on but that's the truth. What was I reasonably supposed to be doing while she dates another man.

I probably could have phrased it that I'm deciding what I want and working on becoming a better me, but that was just making her upset and annoyed. She said she doesn't like talking to an emotionless person.

[Mimi00]

Its unfortunate she came to that conclusion with you not being able to take care of the dogs. I can see how that would be frustrating for her, but she has to realize that she left therefore the dogs are her responsibility; it doesnt matter if you have plans or will be home a day. You have a right to say no.
Sounds like you handled pretty well.

[NoMoreMistakes]

So no additional word from W regarding getting her remaining things, finalizing papers, or anything else for that matter.

Continue doing my own thing. Exercising more, going out and meeting new people, and picking up old hobbies.

[3boymom]

I am not surprised that she did not finalize the papers. If the WAS does not get their way, they use these threats as an attempt to gain back a little bit of control. My H always uses "I just don't know how this will ever work" line. I think that your W sees that you are starting to move on and does not know if she wants to let you go yet. Your are disturbing her "best of both worlds" fantasy. Glad to see that you are continuing to do your own thing.

[NoMoreMistakes]

This whole process is frustrating. One day doing well, happy with improvements, then out of the blue mad and upset. Not for long but just enough to make it feel like a back step.

The thought crossed my mind that while i contributed to aan unhappy marriage for my W, I never did anything to actively destroy it. Logically I know she was unhappy and may have felt there was no other way, or found what she was missing elsewhere, but it still angered me.

I tried to understand it and find that I am just as angry at myself for letting it get that far before making a change. Hopefully I can make that change for good.

[NoMoreMistakes]

Getting closer to the 37 days predicted by PM soon to be patented algorithm. Not sure that ill be more clear or certain by then, but it would be a nice Christmas present.

[NoMoreMistakes]

awkard time of year. I have been hanging out with people from work more lately and they keep asking when my W is going to come out to the next event. I have not explained the situation to them yet but also do not want to keep making up excuses. Any suggestions on how to handle the situation?

Find that I have to keep avoiding the questions about if we are doing anything with her family oe why she isn't coming to the company holiday party...