What would you do if your wife or another adult peat you?
Except we aren't talking about fully developed, mature, adult brains.
Sometimes there are physical consequences to life's decisions. Depriving a child of that is depriving them off learning a valuable life lesson.
We can agree to disagree, just don't take from this that I create an environment of violence based fear in my children. As I've described in my own thread, we have a great relationship based on them trusting that I always have their best interests in mind, so much so, for example that I've been approached with body image issues from one of my girls.
To me - dad - not mom.
Let me give you a scenario. Imagine your three year old is about to cross a busy street and will likely get hit by oncoming traffic. Do you talk to and try to rationalize with that three year old to convince them not to venture out into the street?
Not if you want her to live.
So clearly there is a time and place where physical intervention is in the best interests of the child.
Now, I have a used an extreme example to simply point out that this isn't a black and white issue. Each parent has to decide what intervention is necessary and for what reasons. (And I'm intentionally using the term "intervention" because of the negative connotation of the word "violence" you have chosen to use. )
I ABSOLUTELY do not advocate abuse or physicality out of anger, but especially with boys, young men need to be put in their place on occasion. It is a lesson I believe most men, looking back, will admit they needed to and deserved to learn. Feel free to go look up the psychology of pubescent boys and their typical testing of the father figure in the household.
I don't have any boys, but I was a teenage boy once and I've seen how boys without father figures in their lives act much differently than boys who do. As a teenage boy with hormones and a feeling of invincibility prevalent well documented in this demographic, the fear of a father is quite a useful, almost necessary tool to make a man.
Regarding younger children, I think it's imperative they learn that sometimes it's time to listen and do as they're told. There are sometimes when children need to listen NOW, no questions asked. This is rare, but it is real. And it needs to be taught, regardless of gender, but certainly tailored to gender.
I'm sure there are people and books who disagree with me, but I'm confident in my parenting decisions.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
