I got spanked with a variety of utensils growing up - and the key difference was never in anger. I love my parents deeply and resent nothing from them.
Spanking is a non-issue; it's the way punishment is merited. My D13 almost never got spanked; S11 got spanked 3 times a day. Both of them are closer to me than almost any dad I know.
The argument over spanking obfuscates the real issue of whether you love your children so much they can't help but see correction as a result of love. I would spank S5 very hard, then hold him and tell him what he did wrong, and what I expected; and he'd invariably walk by 5 minutes later, and say, "I love you daddy."
