First of all, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and insights to the MLC mind, I really, truly don't know how I'd be doing with ANY of this without you and all my BB friends. It's maddening and frustrating, yet it all makes so much sense. I HAVE to continue along to see how this IS all going to play out.
I'm hoping and praying for a better man, for my H to come through this a better person and then on the other hand not expecting anything.
Quote: This is alot of the times where the LBS is the one that ends the relationship because they just simply can't take anymore and I can definitely understand that.
IF H would have left Saturday night I WOULD have ended it, it would have been over and I told H that, also. Told H to make arrangements to get all of his stuff out of our hosue this week, that I never wanted to see him again, or as little as possible. I told H I didn't deserve to be treated like this, I didn't deserve the pain anymore and that no one should have to live this way. I deserved better.
H got back right before the game ended last night. Said he came back "this time" to make sure S slept in his own bed..yeah right.
H asked me if I tried to call him? I said no and then asked where he was. H said "I'm not going to tell you" like I didn't know and why would he ask me if I called him there. He was at his bar watching the game.
H slept downstairs last night. I was able to read before I went to sleep--which was nice. S slept with his D. I got up and made H's lunch for him this morning. H asked why I was being nice to him when he's not nice to me. I told him he was my friend.
H called not too long ago to thank me for making his sandwhich! We talked a bit about his work and hung up.
I do know that the pain I felt Friday night, the not sleeping, the not knowing, that awful feeling OF knowing where H was, the pain I've known since this horror began, is a pain I do not want to feel again. A person can only take so much and I would wish it on NO ONE. I once told my H that the the pain of a slap or punch would be preferrable to the constant pain of this nightmare. As that kind of pain last a few days...of course, if H ever did touch me...well I won't even go there..
