You know, Rh, I think women our age kind of had our feet planted in two different times. We were born at a time when women still were the caregivers, the homemakers, and those were our role models. But then we were teenagers in the 70's, a time when women were become more empowered.

So, I think we tended to go with a bit of both. We had careers, then, stayed home with our children.

I dont, for a minute, regret my time at home. I do feel though, that my mindset was to totally immerse myself in my family. And there isnt anything wrong with that. It is when you do that to the extent that you lose yourself, that it becomes an issue.

We find ourselves a bit lost, when something like MLC happens. Our equilibrium is thrown off. Our role, as we saw it, to fix things, to keep the family together and working, etc. is now skewed.

You had been concentrating so hard on what your role was, that when this hit, you started working harder to try to keep it all together.

But when you were exhausted, when you could do no more, you took control of your life.

Then the reconnection began. And so, you went back to your role. You worked real hard. And all the while, you still werent paying real attention to you.

You forgot how to. You forgot what that looks like, what that feels like.

And now you are afraid to take that next step. I think you are fearful, even though your h doesnt make you feel that way, to let go a bit.

You want to hold on as tight as you can.

But, my friend, you have a right to be happy and fulfilled. You have a right to spread your wings and find you.

It is ok for you think, ok, my marriage is on safer ground, my children are older, it's RH's time.

That is something that you want your children to see. It is something you want your h to see. He needs to know that he doesnt have to worry about you. He needs to know that he can have a life and you can have a life. And the great thing is, that you can share a life, too.

Find you, R. Figure out what fills you up. Find out how you can be your best self.

It is ok. It really is. Stop holding your breath. Let it out.

I know what stuck is. Trust me on that. I know what being afraid of change is, too.

But we only get this one life. Make it a great one.